How can we be open and honest in communicating with others, especially with our closest people? I did try to be open and honest in my relationships, but most of the time I got judgment or I already judged myself first that people would judge me. It then made me repressed my feelings or putting invisible wall because I was afraid to get hurt. I was afraid to show who I really was. I thought people would not notice me anyway. My opinion did not matter. I hid behind what I so-called introvert identity. I did not talk much when surrounded by big group of people. I chose to be quiet, listen, and observe. I would be chatty only when the subject was related with what I was passionate about, such as yoga or spirituality.

As an introvert I feel "charged" when I am alone, have more time to contemplate and do whatever I want. However, lately I realized that I also got disconnected from other people even if I meet them in places. There is this longing to be part of a group, to have routine schedule to meet up, etc. There is also this extrovert part inside of me who wants to be connected with people. But it will not happen if I don't change myself first because I cannot accept the environment to change for me.

Few days ago, I had a situation with a client. I normally post yoga schedule in the yoga group so that my clients can choose which time they want to practice. One of the clients already read it, but no response. As a person who loves to plan things and have high expectation, the situation was kinda irritating for me. But since I have started meditating, I knew that the problem was in me, not with the client as what happens on the outside is the projection of what is in the inside. So, I decided to release the negative emotions by meditating, dancing, did whatever I like, and most importantly be grateful. Out of sudden, she informed me that she wanted to join the evening class. So, after the class I decided to talk with her about how I felt before which I usually would only stay quiet and keep it inside. She apologised and we talked about our characters that apparently were opposite. We had open and honest communication in the end which made the relationship better, without prejudice. Now I also understand why I am surrounded by these type of people. I need to learn to let go of my expectation. If something is meant to be then it will happen. The incident made us more aware and learnt from each other.

Being so open and vulnerable are not easy for most of us. There is trust involved. However without them, we will not be able to have proper communication where we feel safe and be who we truly are. Even if the other party might have difficulty in accepting what we have to say, at least we are being true to ourselves. We become who we truly are. So, lets be open and shine.

nYin yoga is one part of the TRIPLE Y method I teach. Some people are familiar with yang yoga already. It is a common type of yoga that we see in a yoga class. However, let me remind again that yoga is not about folding the body like in circus performance. NOT AT ALL. And we are not being demanded to be flexible before we practice yoga. In fact with continuous practice FLEXIBILITY becomes THE RESULT. Anyone from all ages can do yoga.

Returning back to YIN YOGA. What is yin yoga and how does yin yoga impact our body?
Yin yoga is a combination between Hatha yoga from India and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) from China. The purpose is to smooth the meridian pathway or qi/chi system in our body which is also clearing the chakra system from Indian tradition. When our qi and chakras flow smoothly, we will gain vitality and well-being is improved. We become a healthy and balanced person.

The thing that differentiate yin yoga with other types of yoga is the stillness, yet we still get our body stretched. When I teach yin yoga, sometimes I get comments like "It is boring. Can we make it shorter?" or "I am impatient". Yin yoga actually helps us to understand more about ourself, dive deeper into who we really are. Perhaps, now we are more aware that we are an impatient type of person. So, what's next? How can we learn to have more patience, especially with ourself? Yin yoga gives effect not only on our physical body, but it also works on mental, emotional, and spiritual level.

Lets discuss the main principles of yin yoga:

1. Find the edge.
Once we are in a yin pose, we need to find our edge meaning we need to know whether we force ourself too much (strong sensation) or too lose (no sensation). Stretching is there but still within limit. There is no forcing. That is why STILLNESS is very important in yin yoga. By being still we are able to listen and be aware of our bodily needs.

2. Be Still.
Once we find our edge then just stay there. There is nothing else to do. Just be present with our breath and body. Paying attention to the tendency of moving or mentally distract ourself is the purpose of being still. It is like a mirror. How we behave and act on the mat will show how we behave and act off the mat in our everyday life.

3. Hold the pose.
Once we are settled in the pose, it is time to hold the posture for three to five minutes. For beginners, it is advisable to hold it starting from one and a half minute. This way, we train our mind to become still. The longer the body is still, the more the qi becomes concentrated in the deeper yin tissues (the bones and ligaments which are the target of yin yoga). As we are setlled into the stillness, our yin aspects of being- our contemplative, receptive qualities -are also enhanced, and so is our capacity to surrender.

4. Feel the sensations.
The sensations that being mentioned about her is mental and emotional sensations. Whenever the mind is going everywhere whilst we are in the pose, just acknowledge and return it to our breath. It is normal for the mind to be wandered around. This practice helps to anchor the mind and be grounded.
Now how about emotions? Emotions often come up when we are being calm enough and we can see things or events that we have experienced clearer. This is the time to release unwated emotions or emotional baggage. Surely we do not want to carry unnecessary burden throughout our life. We want to feel light and free. Yin yoga helps us to get clarity and letting go whatever that does not serve us anymore. We are allowed to cry and be vulnerable. It is a safe haven as a teacher holds the space for us. Therefore healing process is taken place as well with yin yoga and we can become a much better person.

Yin yoga is also about balancing our feminine aspect that is usually has been repressed for a long time. The wounded feminine causes jealousy, gossip, low self-worth, the need for external validation, and manipulation. The mature feminine results in creativity, flow, movement, sensuality, and nurturing. Take a moment to reflect what we are observing within and around ourself. Our external world is a reflection of our internal world, steering us in the direction we must examine and heal.

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Adapted from the book:
1. "Yin Yoga: Stretch the Mindful Way" by Kassandra Reinhardt.
2. "Insight Yoga" by Sarah Powers.
3. "A Yogic Path Guidebook" by Sahara Rose.

What do I want is a question that is not that easy to answer for most of us, including for me. I do know what I want superficially. I want to become a yoga teacher, which I did. I want to eat this, I want to eat that. I want to do this, I want to do that, or I want to have this and I want to have that. Even when we already have what we want, do they really fulfill our heart?

The question of "What do I want?" comes during social distancing time. It has been 3 months since Indonesian government made the statement for the people to stay at home. In the beginning, I thought it would not give too much impact on my activities. I just needed to do things online from home, work with clients online. Apparently it has big impact, especially with the economy, including my clients. So, they need to stop their yoga practice which of course affects my life. The feeling of losing security and safety financially. However, I have been grateful that I still have food to eat, place to stay, and many more abundance that I have been receiving. They might be small, but they are meaningful.

​So during quarantine, I use the time to create, either yoga sequences, blog, short video or coloring. I also learn a few things like how to do video editting, listen to podcast about yoga, basic qigong or anything that can improve my life. I feel like I need to DO something (masculine energy), instead of just BE (feminine energy). I have been putting pressure on myself while I can actually just enjoy the time with myself. Just be with myself and know myself more.

Then I found this old picture of mine when I was about three years old. She even posed in the picture. I did not remember that I was a happy child back then. I only remembered that my face looked sad in my most toddler pictures. Getting back to the question of "What do I want?". I want this little girl in the picture to enjoy the best of her life, to fulfill her destiny of why she was born. She wants people around her live in peace and harmony, from within.

I envision YOGA BLISS WITH LIA not only as a yoga brand, but also a community like a family, where there are love, peace, trust, openess, support, encouragement, healing, harmony, balance, and union. A community where we learn from each other, and give great impact for the society. That's what I want. Unexpected events happen during the journey of establishing and developing YOGA BLISS WITH LIA. However, I believe that giving up is not the answer. I trust that there are people out there who need yoga for their healing purpose, and I want to help them. This is the reason I was born.